Dear Momofuku,
I work with a woman that I am attracted to, and sometimes I feel that she is attracted to me as well. Should I take a chance and just ask?
-- Fence Sitter
Dear FS,
Again, I think this saying of Momofuku Ando applies: "If you act, you risk failure. If you don't act, you risk wasting time." I think he believed that wasting time was worse than failing. Yeah, ask.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Is It Better to Be Decisive or Flexible?
Dear Momofuku,
Which is a more important character trait: being decisive, or learning to be comfortable with uncertainty?
-- Restless Waffler
Dear RW,
As I have posted before, Momofuku believed it was important to clearly state your goals. As for how to achieve them, he advised getting comfortable with change. "If you discover a better way of doing things," he said, "adopt that way immediately. Changing course is nothing to be embarrassed about. It's proof of flexibility."
Which is a more important character trait: being decisive, or learning to be comfortable with uncertainty?
-- Restless Waffler
Dear RW,
As I have posted before, Momofuku believed it was important to clearly state your goals. As for how to achieve them, he advised getting comfortable with change. "If you discover a better way of doing things," he said, "adopt that way immediately. Changing course is nothing to be embarrassed about. It's proof of flexibility."
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
How/Where Can I Meet Good Single Men?
Dear Momofuku,
Where are all the good single men hiding?! I've tried the bar thing, the online dating thing, the outdoor sports thing and have met a few decent men, but no sparks. How and where does a single gal attract the right guy?
--Stumped
Dear Stumped,
Momofuku once wrote, "A woman who cannot fillet a fish cannot be a good wife." It's old fashioned and sexist, sure, but how are your knife skills? Maybe take a cooking class?
Where are all the good single men hiding?! I've tried the bar thing, the online dating thing, the outdoor sports thing and have met a few decent men, but no sparks. How and where does a single gal attract the right guy?
--Stumped
Dear Stumped,
Momofuku once wrote, "A woman who cannot fillet a fish cannot be a good wife." It's old fashioned and sexist, sure, but how are your knife skills? Maybe take a cooking class?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
How Can I Focus on What Matters?
Dear Momofuku,
When I have too many things hanging over me at once, draining me of my focus and energy, what should I do to get rid of the "cloud"?
-- Overwhelmed
Dear O,
Momofuku once wrote that to achieve important things -- to cut through the clutter -- you have have clearly defined goals. With instant ramen, he wanted the result to be 1) tasty; 2) economical; 3) ready in 3 minutes; 4) nutritious; 5) healthy and safe. Once he had those, all the unimportant things slipped away. Of course, it took him 47 years of his life to develop these goals, so don't be too hard on yourself if they don't come immediately.
When I have too many things hanging over me at once, draining me of my focus and energy, what should I do to get rid of the "cloud"?
-- Overwhelmed
Dear O,
Momofuku once wrote that to achieve important things -- to cut through the clutter -- you have have clearly defined goals. With instant ramen, he wanted the result to be 1) tasty; 2) economical; 3) ready in 3 minutes; 4) nutritious; 5) healthy and safe. Once he had those, all the unimportant things slipped away. Of course, it took him 47 years of his life to develop these goals, so don't be too hard on yourself if they don't come immediately.
How Do I Tell a Man I'm Not Into Him?
Dear Momofuku,
I am stumped about how to tell a man that I prefer not to continue dating. Two dates have convinced me that there is something creepy about him despite the fact he was outwardly pleasant. I am deferring to you because I have not honed this technique.
--Dating Improviser
Dear DI,
Momofuku Ando never published a script for telling a man (or woman) that you are no longer interested in dating, though his failure with instant rice led him to say, "When entering a market do it slowly; when exiting, do it quickly." I'd say the right message depends on what kind of person you are. If you like the direct approach, you could say, "I prefer not to continue dating." (Leave out the creepy part, just to be nice.) For something more indirect, how about sending the text message "Mankind is noodlekind" and letting him figure it out?
I am stumped about how to tell a man that I prefer not to continue dating. Two dates have convinced me that there is something creepy about him despite the fact he was outwardly pleasant. I am deferring to you because I have not honed this technique.
--Dating Improviser
Dear DI,
Momofuku Ando never published a script for telling a man (or woman) that you are no longer interested in dating, though his failure with instant rice led him to say, "When entering a market do it slowly; when exiting, do it quickly." I'd say the right message depends on what kind of person you are. If you like the direct approach, you could say, "I prefer not to continue dating." (Leave out the creepy part, just to be nice.) For something more indirect, how about sending the text message "Mankind is noodlekind" and letting him figure it out?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
When Bad Stuff Happens, Is It My Fault?
Dear Momofuku,
When a bunch of bad things happen at the same time, is it coincidence, bad karma, or me?
--Hoping Next Week Is Better
Dear Hoping,
One thing I used to wonder about was why a man, penniless at age 47, would build a shack in his backyard and spend a year in it inventing instant ramen. I learned the answer in Momofuku Ando's book How to Escape from Difficulty. In it, Momofuku wrote, "There is no end to our desires. We judge reality as bad or unfair, which leads to nothing but unhappiness." Translation: it's you. Good news is that Momofuku found that when he accepted his reality (failure/shame), he found joy (ramen). So it might not be you, but your hoping, judging mind. Join the club.
When a bunch of bad things happen at the same time, is it coincidence, bad karma, or me?
--Hoping Next Week Is Better
Dear Hoping,
One thing I used to wonder about was why a man, penniless at age 47, would build a shack in his backyard and spend a year in it inventing instant ramen. I learned the answer in Momofuku Ando's book How to Escape from Difficulty. In it, Momofuku wrote, "There is no end to our desires. We judge reality as bad or unfair, which leads to nothing but unhappiness." Translation: it's you. Good news is that Momofuku found that when he accepted his reality (failure/shame), he found joy (ramen). So it might not be you, but your hoping, judging mind. Join the club.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Is My Boyfriend Too Touchy-Feely?
Dear Momofuku,
The guy I'm dating can't seem to be near me without touching me. For example, if we are sitting next to each other at a lecture or a restaurant, he will automatically pull up the leg of my jeans to start massaging my calf. He thinks licking food off each other at a dinner party is acceptable behavior. For real! I'm touchy-feely, too, but his comfort level for PDA extends way beyond mine. I've told him it's distracting to the people around us, but he thinks I'm being "bourgeois." Should I just go with the flow? If not, how do I get through to him I think he's overboard, without hurting his feelings?
--Needing Some Space
Dear Needing,
Momofuku Ando once characterized ideal partnerships with his wholesale noodle customers. "Relationships that are neither too close nor too distant," he said, "will stand the test of time." Perhaps you can tell your boyfriend that Ando also said, "Transactions involve give and take. Take too much, and your partner will have nothing left to give."
The guy I'm dating can't seem to be near me without touching me. For example, if we are sitting next to each other at a lecture or a restaurant, he will automatically pull up the leg of my jeans to start massaging my calf. He thinks licking food off each other at a dinner party is acceptable behavior. For real! I'm touchy-feely, too, but his comfort level for PDA extends way beyond mine. I've told him it's distracting to the people around us, but he thinks I'm being "bourgeois." Should I just go with the flow? If not, how do I get through to him I think he's overboard, without hurting his feelings?
--Needing Some Space
Dear Needing,
Momofuku Ando once characterized ideal partnerships with his wholesale noodle customers. "Relationships that are neither too close nor too distant," he said, "will stand the test of time." Perhaps you can tell your boyfriend that Ando also said, "Transactions involve give and take. Take too much, and your partner will have nothing left to give."
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Should I Claim My Inheritance?
Dear Momofuku,
My father died and I have inherited a fortune "on paper." I have lived in poverty my entire adult life. Should I seize the money, or continue on in patience?
--Nouveau (Paper) Riche
Dear N(P)R,
As you know if you've been reading previous entries, Momofuku Ando often claimed that his invention of instant ramen would not have been possible had he not, at age 47, lost nearly all of his money. However, he once said, "Failure should never be a goal." I think what he meant was that poverty can be as dangerous as wealth, if it only serves as something for your ego to hold on to. So I'd say go get your inheritance. Of course, remember that Momofuku also said, "Eighteen holes [of golf] is the only happiness that money can buy."
My father died and I have inherited a fortune "on paper." I have lived in poverty my entire adult life. Should I seize the money, or continue on in patience?
--Nouveau (Paper) Riche
Dear N(P)R,
As you know if you've been reading previous entries, Momofuku Ando often claimed that his invention of instant ramen would not have been possible had he not, at age 47, lost nearly all of his money. However, he once said, "Failure should never be a goal." I think what he meant was that poverty can be as dangerous as wealth, if it only serves as something for your ego to hold on to. So I'd say go get your inheritance. Of course, remember that Momofuku also said, "Eighteen holes [of golf] is the only happiness that money can buy."
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