Should I Fake Orgasms?

Dear Momofuku,
Should I fake my orgasms? Sometimes I just get tired. By the way, I'm a dude.
-- Pretending Man

Dear PM,
Momofuku Ando always encouraged Nissin employees to bring a sense of playfulness to working with noodles. "Playfulness is the best way to lose yourself in your job so you can perform to your full potential. If you're truly interested in your job, you'll never get tired." I wonder -- are you truly interested in your job?

Does Ramen Fix Anyone with Commitment Issues?

Dear Momofuku,
Can anyone with commitment issues be cured just by eating ramen?
-- Curious

Dear Curious,
Momofuku Ando once wrote, "Flavors taste best to those who appreciate them." So maybe, maybe not.

Should I Trim My Eyebrows?

Dear Momofuku,
Should I trim my eyebrows? I'm a 30-something man and lately my eyebrow hair has started to grow bushier. I'm worried that ear hair may be next.
--Furry-ous

Dear Furry-ous,
Momofuku Ando once wrote, "Taking action means spending resources. However, taking no action also exacts a price--in time." I'm not sure why, but in his third memoir, How to Escape from Difficulty, this quote introduces a section on how all of his wartime businesses (including a manufacturer of aircraft engine parts -- this was pre-ramen) were destroyed by the Allied bombing of Osaka, in 1945. What you might take from this is that, trim or not, you cannot slow the hands of time. Ear hair is coming. Ando also wrote, "Never wear an overcoat that doesn't look good on you." So maybe trim 'em.

How should my family handle its financial troubles?

Dear Momofuku,
Do you have any advice for how my family can handle all of their financial troubles?
--Strapped

Dear Strapped,
Momofuku Ando lost everything, save his home, when he was 47 years old. He felt that it was the worst moment of his life, and arguably it was. I can't presume to know the difficulties your family is facing, but I hope it is some comfort that the experience led Momofuku to instant ramen. He once said, "Behind every valley, a grand mountain awaits."

Should I Heat Up Leftover Pizza?

Dear Momofuku,
When I eat leftover pizza for breakfast in the morning, should I heat it up or eat it cold? It's so delicious both ways, and I am always very torn.
--Can't wait 'til morning

Dear CWTM,
Golf was Momofuku Ando's passion. It is written on page 192 of Thus Spake Momofuku that he once said, "Golf is a battle with oneself; the words of people who survive such battles contain much wisdom." I suspect that you might be engaged in this kind of battle. Thus, rather than having Momofuku suggest an answer, it might be better for you to struggle on your own. Then come back and post the wisdom you discover.

Update:
Dear Momofuku,
I couldn't wait. I ate it cold.
--Happy with my decision

Which Books Should I Read?

Dear Momofuku,
Which books do you recommend?
--Seeking

Dear Seeking,
After Momofuku Ando graduated from college, he worked for two years as a librarian. (This was in Taiwan, where he grew up.) In his spare time at the library, he liked to read foreign literature in translation. In particular, he enjoyed Shakespeare. He also read the work of Tatsukichi Minobe, whose text on constitutional theory famously posited the "emperor-as-organ" theory, according to which emperors were subordinate to state power. However, Momofuku claims (in his autobiography "Magic Noodles: The Story of the Invention of Instant Ramen) that he usually chose books "randomly and unsystematically, covering a wide range of knowledge and information."