Should I Struggle to Find Love?

Dear Momofuku,
With regards to love, is it better to work and struggle in the hope of one day finding it? Or is it best to release all expectation and desire with the understanding that love is a mystery which cannot be forced into existence?
--Looking 4 Love

Dear L4L,
In Thus Spake Momofuku, the published collection of Momofuku Ando's sayings, it is written that he once proclaimed, "A company that does not struggle to reach a new destiny will find itself stuck in the same place, and the same goes for human beings." So yeah, sorry, you have to work at it.

What Is Consciousness?

Dear Momofuku,
What is the nature of consciousness? Is it ideas all the way down, or is there a material physical aspect to it?
--Wondering

Dear Wondering,
Near the exit to Osaka's Instant Ramen Invention Museum, a scroll hangs from the ceiling. On the scroll, Momofuku Ando has written in large brush-stroke characters, "Mankind is Noodlekind." It is, perhaps, his most famous saying. The root of it all, he seems to be telling us, is nothing more than flour and water.

Why Do I Fear Success?

Dear Momofuku,
Why am I so afraid of being successful?
--Self-Sabotaging Soul

Dear S-SS,
Momofuku Ando is famous for saying, "Behind every mountain, you will eventually come to a deep valley -- and vice-versa." Perhaps you are afraid of the valley beyond the mountain. Momofuku's happiness came from his ability to celebrate the ups and downs.

What's the Key to Love?

Dear Momofuku,
What's the most important thing to remember regarding matters of the heart?
---"Veggie Ramen Please"

Dear VRP,
In his memoir How To Escape from Difficulty, Momofuku Ando says, "Unlimited desires in a limited world give rise to all sorts of contradictions." Even though it's not exactly clear what that means, it somehow seems to help.

Should I Stay in a Job for the Money, or Follow My Passion?

Dear Momofuku,
I love writing, but I'm doing the technical kind that doesn't feed the mind or soul. It pays well and I need the money, but I'm really sick of it. Should I quit, or stay here and write crappy trade articles?
--Writing on the Wall

Dear WotW,
In the 1970s, Momofuku Ando ordered his factory managers to reduce the energy cost of making Cup Noodles by 50 percent. Of course, the managers told him it was an unreasonable request. But he insisted, which forced the managers to consider unreasonable new ways to produce Cup Noodles. In the end, they reduced energy costs 67 percent. Imagine that Momofuku is your boss, and he has ordered you to earn enough money AND to write something that feeds your mind and soul. Does something unreasonable come to mind?

Should I Text My Ex-Girlfriend?

Dear Momofuku,
I recently broke up with my girlfriend. We work for the same company, and we dated for a year. I didn't like that she wanted to keep our relationship a secret from our coworkers even though there is no policy about intra-office dating. I broke up with her via text message (OK, my bad.) We ignored each other at work for the last 3 months, but now she is sending me weird text messages and she wants to get back together. What should I do?
-Employee of the Month

Dear EotM,
Before inventing instant ramen, Momofuku Ando ran a company that made salt. He lived by the sea, and enjoyed fishing. He once said, "You can drop your line in a spot where there's no fish, but you still won't catch anything." Stop returning her texts.

How Far Should One Go for Fame?

Dear Momofuku,
How far should someone go for fame?
--Wanna Be


Dear WB,
Ando's company, Nissin Food Products, was a big advertiser on early Japanese TV. (Nissin's "Chikin Ramen" ads ran during the dubbed broadcasts of "Leave It to Beaver," among other shows.) But Ando always said, "Never promote a product to make it sell. Promote only once it has proved it can sell." Thus, go as far as you can to develop yourself and your "product." Let fame find you, not the other way around.

Is It Important to Perform with Professionals?

Dear Momofuku,
I'm a musician. Is it better to rehearse perpetually, but never to perform, with happy amateurs, or to perform lots of mediocre gigs with frustrated professionals?
-- Confused Trombonist

Dear CT,
Later in his life, Momofuku Ando wrote dozens of essays about food. Among the best are "Mankind is Noodlekind" and "I Am a Salad Bar Man." In the latter, he declares his preference for simple restaurants (ones with salad bars), especially when traveling overseas. From this, we can conclude that the rewards of pursuing your passion -- whether in rehearsal or performance -- have little to do with the professional status of the people around you.

Is a Complicated Love Life a Bad Thing?

Dear Momofuku,
I have a complicated love life. Is that bad? What's the best way to handle complications?
-- Loving More

Dear LM,
By "complicated," I think you mean "problematic," or full of ups and downs. On the page about Momofuku Ando's birth in the catalog to the Instant Ramen Invention Museum, there is an illustration of Halley's Comet hurtling past Earth. This is because Ando was born in 1910, a year that Halley's Comet made one of its rare flybys. Of the connection, Ando wrote, "It was a fitting beginning for such a turbulent life." He was jailed twice, tortured, and his wealth rose from great heights to utter lows several times. But Ando reveled, at least in hindsight, in his "complications." "My experience of the worst things in this world," he said, "became an incredible source of energy later on." Hope this helps.

Should I Bug a Coach about Playing My Son More?

Dear Momofuku,
My son is 14 and plays on a baseball team. The head coach recruited him for his pitching skills but hasn't pitched him in over two weeks. My son doesn't want me to say anything to the coach and feels that once he does get to pitch and does well, the coach will see the light for himself. Should I ask the coach why he isn't pitching my son, or just let this play out?
--Baseball Dad

Dear BD,
Have you seen how great Melky Cabrera is doing for the New York Yankees these days? This after initially losing his spot as a starter. I don't think we have to consult Momofuku Ando to know you should let this play out. Of course, there is Ando's Fundamental Misunderstanding of Humanity to deal with -- the feeling that if your son pitches, everything will be OK, and if he doesn't it won't. (I'm talking about you as the sufferer of the FMH in this case, not your son.) I find that it helps to pray to Ando about such things, to ask Him to make everything alright either way. Feel free to do so to the deity of your choosing.

Should I Break Up with My Girlfriend?

Dear Momofuku,
I have a very sweet and smart girlfriend. But, despite my best efforts, I do not find her physically attractive. I don't know how much longer I can fake it. (I also do not have confidence in my ability to woo a woman that I *would* find attractive.) What should I do?
--Not Turned On


Dear NTO,
In his book of famous sayings, Momofuku Ando offers this advice. "Even if a [food] product is delicious, you must never stop working to improve it." The question is whether you were initially attracted to your girlfriend and something happened (you stopped working on the relationship maybe?) or if you were not attracted in the first place. If the former, it's possible you could talk about your feelings (maybe with someone else first) and you might be surprised to rediscover her "deliciousness." If the latter, maybe it's time to break up. If you do that it will likely be painful for her, so think about why you started dating her in the first place (to avoid repeating the pattern). Don't stay in an unhappy relationship because you're afraid you won't find the "deliciousness" with someone else.

How Can I Find a Career I'm Passionate About?

Dear Momofuku,
Ever since I moved to California from India 5years ago, I have been struggling to find my passion. I love my husband and I have two beautiful girls, but I need to do something outside my home to feel complete. I had a career in TV that I loved, but I cannot return to it without compromising the quality of care and time I want with my children and husband. How do I find my passion and balance?
--New in America

Dear NiA,
Momofuku Ando once wrote, "Before I place orders with suppliers, I always visit their factories, speaking for long periods of time with their management teams." Have you considered asking for informational interviews at places where you might enjoy working?

Is Dating A Much Older Man OK?

Dear Momofuku,
Should I ask out a man twice my age?
-- Half His Age

Dear HHA,
Momofuku Ando wrote that very little about inventing instant ramen was easy. His technique was essentially trial and error. He mixed batches of noodles, cut them, dried them, then poured boiling water over them, only to produce failure after failure. He made several batches a day. People always asked him how he felt at the moment he succeeded, but he could never recall such a moment. All he could recall was the failure, which eventually produced a solution that no one else could have imagined. So, as long as you're not a minor, ask him out.

Should I Use Botox?

Dear Momofuku,
I'm a 55-year-old woman, fairly attractive, and I'm considering Botox. Should I? From reading your entries, I know you can't slow the hands of time...but maybe just to feel better?
--Questioning

Dear Questioning,
This might be the most difficult question ever posed on these pages, in that it gets to the heart of what Ando called the Fundamental Misunderstanding of Humanity -- believing we can escape our shame by achieving desire upon desire. I think he would tell you to listen to what the voice in your head is saying about yourself, why it is telling you to use Botox. Write it down. Then, see how you feel. If you make a decision, email it and I'll post the follow-up.

Should I Take a Chance?

Dear Momofuku,
I work with a woman that I am attracted to, and sometimes I feel that she is attracted to me as well. Should I take a chance and just ask?
-- Fence Sitter

Dear FS,
Again, I think this saying of Momofuku Ando applies: "If you act, you risk failure. If you don't act, you risk wasting time." I think he believed that wasting time was worse than failing. Yeah, ask.

Is It Better to Be Decisive or Flexible?

Dear Momofuku,
Which is a more important character trait: being decisive, or learning to be comfortable with uncertainty?
-- Restless Waffler

Dear RW,
As I have posted before, Momofuku believed it was important to clearly state your goals. As for how to achieve them, he advised getting comfortable with change. "If you discover a better way of doing things," he said, "adopt that way immediately. Changing course is nothing to be embarrassed about. It's proof of flexibility."

How/Where Can I Meet Good Single Men?

Dear Momofuku,
Where are all the good single men hiding?! I've tried the bar thing, the online dating thing, the outdoor sports thing and have met a few decent men, but no sparks. How and where does a single gal attract the right guy?
--Stumped

Dear Stumped,
Momofuku once wrote, "A woman who cannot fillet a fish cannot be a good wife." It's old fashioned and sexist, sure, but how are your knife skills? Maybe take a cooking class?

How Can I Focus on What Matters?

Dear Momofuku,
When I have too many things hanging over me at once, draining me of my focus and energy, what should I do to get rid of the "cloud"?
-- Overwhelmed

Dear O,
Momofuku once wrote that to achieve important things -- to cut through the clutter -- you have have clearly defined goals. With instant ramen, he wanted the result to be 1) tasty; 2) economical; 3) ready in 3 minutes; 4) nutritious; 5) healthy and safe. Once he had those, all the unimportant things slipped away. Of course, it took him 47 years of his life to develop these goals, so don't be too hard on yourself if they don't come immediately.

How Do I Tell a Man I'm Not Into Him?

Dear Momofuku,
I am stumped about how to tell a man that I prefer not to continue dating. Two dates have convinced me that there is something creepy about him despite the fact he was outwardly pleasant. I am deferring to you because I have not honed this technique.
--Dating Improviser

Dear DI,
Momofuku Ando never published a script for telling a man (or woman) that you are no longer interested in dating, though his failure with instant rice led him to say, "When entering a market do it slowly; when exiting, do it quickly." I'd say the right message depends on what kind of person you are. If you like the direct approach, you could say, "I prefer not to continue dating." (Leave out the creepy part, just to be nice.) For something more indirect, how about sending the text message "Mankind is noodlekind" and letting him figure it out?

When Bad Stuff Happens, Is It My Fault?

Dear Momofuku,
When a bunch of bad things happen at the same time, is it coincidence, bad karma, or me?
--Hoping Next Week Is Better

Dear Hoping,
One thing I used to wonder about was why a man, penniless at age 47, would build a shack in his backyard and spend a year in it inventing instant ramen. I learned the answer in Momofuku Ando's book How to Escape from Difficulty. In it, Momofuku wrote, "There is no end to our desires. We judge reality as bad or unfair, which leads to nothing but unhappiness." Translation: it's you. Good news is that Momofuku found that when he accepted his reality (failure/shame), he found joy (ramen). So it might not be you, but your hoping, judging mind. Join the club.