Hope You Enjoyed Ramen Advice

Thanks for all the questions you submitted to Ramen Advice. The site is no longer accepting questions, but below you'll find some submitted by others--along with advice based on the life and wisdom of Momofuku Ando.


"I realized that my failure was like muscle that had been added to my bones."

-- Momofuku Ando

Was I Wrong to Leave My Boyfriend?

Dear Momofuku,
I recently broke up with my boyfriend to be with someone who treats me better. I miss him terribly, and I wonder if he could have changed over time like he said he could. Did I do the right thing?
-- Feeling Bad

Dear Feeling Bad,
Momofuku Ando once told his employees, "You should know in three to six months if a project will bear fruit. If it hasn't happened by then, there’s no sense wasting more water and fertilizer." Don't worry, you did the right thing.

Should My Boyfriend Tickle Me in Public?

Dear Momofuku,
My boyfriend of three years rarely shows affection in public yet thinks I should be charmed if he tickles me or chucks me under the chin in front of strangers, co-workers, even family. I find this behavior weird and immature. How should I handle his handsy ways?
--Twitchy in Tulsa

Dear Twitchy,
In his essay collection "Praise the Appetite," Momofuku explains that the perfect piece of batter-fried tempura achieves a delicate balance between high temperature and moisture. The key is to get the crunchiness, without oiliness or dryness. Tell your boyfriend that tickling you in front of co-workers is like a batter-fried prawn sitting in luke-warm vegetable oil.

Which Man Should I Choose?

Dear Momofuku,
It has always been my dream to be married and have several children. However, each of the men I have been with has given me the same answer: "In a year or two." I'm currently in my early twenties, so I know I don't have much to worry about technically, but a dream is a dream. Recently, a man offered to start with me the kind of family I've always wanted, but he is so busy and has little time to spend with me (though it is nice when it happens). I am content with him, and he wants children now. After him being away for some time, though, I fell in love with another man who makes me happier than I thought possible. Yet, when I bring up children, he says, "In a few years, we'll see." I am torn between my dream and a man who I love. I feel that I should make a choice about who to be with soon, though. What should I do?
--SC

Dear SC,
We've talked on this site a bunch of times about how Momofuku Ando set the five conditions for himself -- the goals he would have to meet in order to declare that he had succeeded in inventing instant ramen. (Here they are in a previous post: http://www.ramenadvice.com/2009/05/how-can-i-focus-on-what-matters.html.) It sounds like your conditions are (1) I must love the person I am with, (2) he must have time for me; and (3) he must want to have children relatively soon. We have also discussed how, when Momofuku failed to find demand for instant rice, he withdrew from the market immediately. He didn't want to spend years and years sinking more and more money into the impossible task of convincing customers to change their thinking.

Should I Date a Co-Worker?

Dear Momofuku,
A friend once offered me this wise advice: “Don’t get your meat where you get your bread.” In other words, it is imprudent to get romantically involved with a co-worker. As a result, I exercised great restraint in the workplace during my youth. Now I’m in mid-life, though, and I’m tempted. The lure of her flesh is strong. Crazy strong. Is it time to say the hell with it and have a rip-shit affair? Or should I just say no and enjoy the schadenfreude over others who have succumbed and now spend 40 hours a week suffering around an ex-lover?
-- Potential meat-and-bread mixer

Dear PMABM,
Every year, when autumn came around, Momofuku Ando would go hunting for wild mushrooms. Shiitake mushrooms, in particular, were his favorite. "As satisfying as a good steak," he once said. However, as he notes in his book How To Live Happily to One Hundred,

"...there are poisonous mushrooms in the woods. I once heard a Basho haiku that goes: 'gathering mushrooms / dangerous activity / an evening shower.' As with blowfish, people are attracted by the flavor, but hooked by the danger."

Ando learned to identify (and avoid) poisonous mushrooms. He even started a business cultivating edible ones, though he turned it over to a friend when sales of instant ramen took off. You, too, should conduct a careful study of toxicity before plucking anything from your environment.

How Can I Keep Going After My Divorce?

Dear Momofuku,
I've just survived a disastrous divorce. I know I should be grateful for all my blessings, but I am still mourning the loss of one who had promised to be my bestest friend forever and EVVAH. I also lost my home in this mortifying experience. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's difficult as it's still early days yet. Do you have any words of inspiration to keep me going???
-- The Bengali

Dear Bengali,
In How To Live Happily to One Hundred, Momofuku Ando mused about the health benefits of fermented vegetables. "Vegetables pickled in salt or sake lees (tsukemomo) cleanse the digestive tract," he wrote. Like your feelings of loss, fermented vegetables can be bitter, so perhaps you are experiencing nothing more than a necessary cleansing. If you want to live the analogy, try some nukazuke (vegetables fermented in rice bran).

Can I Show Interest in a Woman Without Appearing Spineless?

Dear Momofuku,
How does a man not appear weak or spineless to a woman, yet still show interest in her? Apparently, such skills are needed in the dating world.
-A

Dear A,
In his book Praise the Appetite, Momofuku Ando noted with dismay that more and more people are eating less to lose weight. He believed the proper way to lose weight was simply to eat different things. In particular, he recommended yuba (a skin that forms atop tofu vats) and kanpyo (a gelatinous substance made from dried shavings of calabash, a type of gourd). "You can eat as much as you want of that stuff, and never get fat," he said. If you're showing an appropriate level of interest (stalking, for instance, would not be an appropriate level) and the woman thinks you're spineless, choose a different woman.

How Can I Feel Youthful Again?

Dear Momofuku,
I have spent many years pursuing a Methodist, Buddhist, then yogic path. Now I just wish to feel youthful spiritually. Help!
--Worn Out

Dear WO,
The good news is that Momofuku Ando offers a very clear answer to your question. The bad news is that it might not be what you expected. "When I discovered golf," Ando said, "it was as if I had been granted new life." He elaborates in his book Food Changes with the Times: The Field Notes of Momofuku Ando, which ends with a three-way chat between Ando (already in his 90s), the famous female golfer Ayako Okamoto, and the Japanese essayist (and Mahjong player) Masanori Hata.

Ando: Golf gave me a new reason for living, aside from work. I sometimes say, "Golf is the only happiness that money can buy."

Okamoto: Really? What exactly do you mean by that?

Ando: Well, people often say 'Money can't buy happiness." And that's absolutely true. Because each of us has limitations that money won't change. But golf has taught me much about happiness, and I'm not just talking about getting good scores. For instance, if I make just one nice shot in 18 holes, I feel it was a good day, and I want to play more. Today, just spending time with you, Mr. Hata, and you, Ms. Okamoto, makes me happy. I'm always thinking, "Next time I want to try it like this" or "I want to change this part of my game." It's like I'm a kid again, totally excited.

Do you have a set of clubs?

Should I Marry My Girlfriend if I Think I'll Cheat?

Dear Momofuku,
I am at a point in my relationship with my girlfriend where I either have to ask her to marry me or break up with her. It's been 3 years and I can sense her starting to put space between us. I have never been able to be faithful to anyone in my life. With her I have tried really hard--with mixed results. I really don't want to lose her, but I'm afraid if we move into the same space I will feel like a trapped animal and will act out. What should I do?
--Trapped Animal

Dear Trapped,
Momofuku Ando once stayed at Manpukuji, an Obakushu Zen temple near Uji City. In his book Praise the Appetite, he wrote the following about his visit:

Mankind is an animal with deep desires. The feeling of "enough" is unknown to him. It's certainly that way with food. At the temple, the 60th-generation head monk told me "In Zen, a great meal is when we run around outside the grounds finding ingredients to put on the table. These days, too many people just run around the supermarket." [After a meal of vegetarian eel and tofu], we sat zazen. As instructed, I straightened my back and breathed with my eyes half-open. Suddenly, the phrase "知足心和" appeared in my mind. It means that if we stop to recognize that we are full, cravings go away, and a feeling of gratefulness takes over.

Of course, stopping to recognize you are already "full" is not easy. The monks spend every moment doing it, and they often fail.

How Do I Know I'm in Love?

Dear Momofuku,
How do I know when I'm in love?
-- Anonymous

Dear A,
When Momofuku Ando set out to invent instant ramen, he insisted that the final product meet the following five criteria: 1) tasty; 2) able to keep for a long time; 3) ready in 3 minutes or less; 4) economical; 5) safe and healthy. If you convert number 3 to "happens without much drama," you can use the same five criteria to judge when you're in love.

How Can I Trust My Girlfriend?

Dear Momofuku,
I love my girlfriend and want to stay with her, but I struggle with the lack of trust between us. I want to forgive her, but how do I move on from the pain I still feel?
--PM Knight

Dear PM,
After Momofuku Ando hit it big with instant ramen, he launched instant rice. He figured success was a foregone conclusion, given the time saving versus traditional steaming. Imagine his shock when he learned that nobody wanted it. Talking to consumers, he discovered that families trusted their mothers to make rice (mothers had been doing that reliably for centuries, after all) more than they trusted Ando's company to provide it. (It was different with instant ramen, which had no such tradition.) What we learn from this is that building trust takes time, and once established is difficult to destroy. One can guess, therefore, that trust never existed in your relationshp. You assumed it, ignored it, or moved ahead believing it would come. The instant rice debacle led Ando to abandon the product, and to coin his famous phrase, "When you enter a market do it slowly. When you withdraw, do it quickly." Whether you stay in your relationship or start a new one, take the time to see if you trust the other person -- before allowing yourself to be truly vulnerable. This can take a long time. If it never comes, you might have to "withdraw from the market." You can't will trust. Same with getting over pain, it seems.

With Kids, Is Safety More Important than Adventure?

Dear Momofuku,
When raising children, is ensuring safety more important than facilitating discovery?
--Mankind is Parentkind

Dear MiP,
Given that Momofuku Ando disowned his eldest son, perhaps he's not the best one to ask on this one. However, he often stressed the importance of instilling in children a love of discovery. For example, he founded the Instant Ramen Invention Museum (which he built across the street from his house) in the hope that kids who visited would learn how much fun it was to discover and invent things. "I want them to know that you don't need fancy equipment or lots of money to be innovative," he once said.

Why Do I Seek Validation from Others?

Dear Momofuku,
Why do I seek validation from others, as if those people's opinions somehow define who I am? I am struggling with this and am trying to overcome it.
--Struggling in the South

Dear Struggling,
Momofuku Ando wrote about how, before he invented instant ramen, he carried around a lot of shame, and it seems that most things he did in his life were attempts to escape from this shame through validation from others. He calls his grandfather (his father died when he was young, so his grandfather raised him) a "strict disciplinarian," so perhaps this had something to do with the shame he felt. Anyway, when he finally embraced his true desire (his desire to invent instant ramen), this quest for validation seemed to fall away. People made all kinds of jokes about how he was working on some silly ramen project in his backyard, but he didn't care. What is your true desire?

Should I Struggle to Find Love?

Dear Momofuku,
With regards to love, is it better to work and struggle in the hope of one day finding it? Or is it best to release all expectation and desire with the understanding that love is a mystery which cannot be forced into existence?
--Looking 4 Love

Dear L4L,
In Thus Spake Momofuku, the published collection of Momofuku Ando's sayings, it is written that he once proclaimed, "A company that does not struggle to reach a new destiny will find itself stuck in the same place, and the same goes for human beings." So yeah, sorry, you have to work at it.

What Is Consciousness?

Dear Momofuku,
What is the nature of consciousness? Is it ideas all the way down, or is there a material physical aspect to it?
--Wondering

Dear Wondering,
Near the exit to Osaka's Instant Ramen Invention Museum, a scroll hangs from the ceiling. On the scroll, Momofuku Ando has written in large brush-stroke characters, "Mankind is Noodlekind." It is, perhaps, his most famous saying. The root of it all, he seems to be telling us, is nothing more than flour and water.

Why Do I Fear Success?

Dear Momofuku,
Why am I so afraid of being successful?
--Self-Sabotaging Soul

Dear S-SS,
Momofuku Ando is famous for saying, "Behind every mountain, you will eventually come to a deep valley -- and vice-versa." Perhaps you are afraid of the valley beyond the mountain. Momofuku's happiness came from his ability to celebrate the ups and downs.

What's the Key to Love?

Dear Momofuku,
What's the most important thing to remember regarding matters of the heart?
---"Veggie Ramen Please"

Dear VRP,
In his memoir How To Escape from Difficulty, Momofuku Ando says, "Unlimited desires in a limited world give rise to all sorts of contradictions." Even though it's not exactly clear what that means, it somehow seems to help.

Should I Stay in a Job for the Money, or Follow My Passion?

Dear Momofuku,
I love writing, but I'm doing the technical kind that doesn't feed the mind or soul. It pays well and I need the money, but I'm really sick of it. Should I quit, or stay here and write crappy trade articles?
--Writing on the Wall

Dear WotW,
In the 1970s, Momofuku Ando ordered his factory managers to reduce the energy cost of making Cup Noodles by 50 percent. Of course, the managers told him it was an unreasonable request. But he insisted, which forced the managers to consider unreasonable new ways to produce Cup Noodles. In the end, they reduced energy costs 67 percent. Imagine that Momofuku is your boss, and he has ordered you to earn enough money AND to write something that feeds your mind and soul. Does something unreasonable come to mind?

Should I Text My Ex-Girlfriend?

Dear Momofuku,
I recently broke up with my girlfriend. We work for the same company, and we dated for a year. I didn't like that she wanted to keep our relationship a secret from our coworkers even though there is no policy about intra-office dating. I broke up with her via text message (OK, my bad.) We ignored each other at work for the last 3 months, but now she is sending me weird text messages and she wants to get back together. What should I do?
-Employee of the Month

Dear EotM,
Before inventing instant ramen, Momofuku Ando ran a company that made salt. He lived by the sea, and enjoyed fishing. He once said, "You can drop your line in a spot where there's no fish, but you still won't catch anything." Stop returning her texts.

How Far Should One Go for Fame?

Dear Momofuku,
How far should someone go for fame?
--Wanna Be


Dear WB,
Ando's company, Nissin Food Products, was a big advertiser on early Japanese TV. (Nissin's "Chikin Ramen" ads ran during the dubbed broadcasts of "Leave It to Beaver," among other shows.) But Ando always said, "Never promote a product to make it sell. Promote only once it has proved it can sell." Thus, go as far as you can to develop yourself and your "product." Let fame find you, not the other way around.